It amazes me how when things don’t go our way, we’re quick to say “Life’s not fair”, when in reality, it’s rather fair. For example, a college graduate getting drafted in the NBA for $30 million for 2 years injuring his knee and never making the first game would say "life is not fair". Actually, it is. Crap happens in life. That’s very fair. That’s in the rules of life to happen. God allowed that to happen. I believe the phrase “life’s not fair” is applicable, but not limited to double standards. Double standards are NOT fair. They can be changed, but the chances of that happening is unlikely. Here are a few life double standards that truly makes life, “unfair”.
The first double standard is the one most of us learned when we were kids: Boys don’t hit girls. Now of course no one should be hitting anyone (whether it’s girl hits girl, boy hits boy or girl hits boy). Violence is not what’s hot in the streets. Yet, when a girl hits a boy she is told to stop. When a boy hits a girl, he is told to stop and that boys shouldn’t hit girls. It sucks, I know. This boy is now learning that if a girl hits him, he shouldn’t do anything. Now, I know some ladies will say, it doesn’t hurt men when you hit them. True, it may not hurt, but the shit gets old! For example, mothers. There is nothing physically painful about your child constantly yelling, “Mom! Mom! Mama! Mama! Mother! Mother!” But after a while you get annoyed and you probably yell at the kid to stop. I picture this being the same for a man that’s constantly getting slapped in the face. (and for the record, their face may start to sting) But what is a man to do? If you see a woman and a man arguing outside and the woman is constantly pushing him, verbally abusing him and slapping his chest, you’ll stare for a few seconds and think “Damn, she tearing his ass a new one” or “ Damn, that bitch is crazy” but either way all you do is watch. Let a man slightly push a woman and some other girl is calling the cops while that one guy runs over to say, “Say, dog! You can’t be hitting on no female”. Now this man is on his way to jail for something that “crazy bitch” may have provoked. I am not at all saying men should be allowed to hit women, but I think when it comes to violence, the consequences should be equal. But it’s not, because when talking about double standards, life's not fair.
This next double standard is something I’m very familiar with: racial jokes. I hate to say this and no I don’t think it’s right, but white people can not make fun of black people. I’m not sure why this double standard is, but I’m sure it has something to do with that whole slavery, racist civil rights thingy. If you’ve been to even one comedy show or seen one on tv with mostly black comedians and a black audience, for some reason there is always that one white couple who wants to sit up front. I don’t know why they do this, but they do. I think you already know where I’m going with this one. There is a 90% chance a black comedian will get on stage and use every stereotype they can find about this white couple. They will say the mans name is “Brad” and make fun of his dancing, speech, walk and sex life all in 2 mins. Then they will call out “Becky”, give her a valley girl accent and swear up and down that she wants a big black d…man in her life! All while this is going on the crowd his laughing to tears at these petty cheap jokes, while the couple just sits there red and uncomfortable. But lets flip it. Lets say a white man calls out a black couple. How they’re names must be Tyrone and LaNeisha, they love fried chicken and Tyrone pants wont stay up. While these statement could possibly be true, Al Sharpton and Ricky Smile are now leading a protest outside the comedy club and calling this man out on Fox 4 News. Now, it’s not impossible for whites to talk about blacks. IF you watch Family Guy, you know that they gets their two cents in. But it’s a “cult” rapport that has been built over time. If a white comedian has been accepted and embraced by the black community (and by embraced I mean, this white person has been declared “black” by another African American. Like what Bill Clinton was to blacks before Barack) he too can MAYBE get away with the racial comments. But overall, white people just shouldn’t do it. Especially in public. I know it sucks because black can and will say whatever they want. But whites must be careful of what you say if you want to keep Al Sharpton out of this. Life’s not fair, eh?
The last double standard is one that has personally been bothering me for a while: Fat Bitches. Now, already you’re thinking I’m being mean, but why? Over weight women are constantly calling women smaller than them, “skinny bitches”. It’s funny. It’s cute. We laugh. I get it! But why cant a thin woman make fat women jokes? Is it because since big women really do want to be thin, it’s ok because it’s more flattering than mean? Bull shit! So what some woman is thinner than you, that doesn’t mean she wants you calling her a a skinny bitch and cracking jokes. Now don't get me wrong, if a woman is over weight that means nothing! I have seen some gorgeous plus size women. I mean, if you're gonna be BIG, be beautiful. But honestly being big can no way possibly be what that is! There is nothing cute about being unhealthy and out of breath all the time! But regardless, we all know that women are EXTREMELY insecure. While you may see this woman as a “skinny bitch”, that bitch may feel uncomfortable because she was born with a flat chest. Now, to be honest I don’t consider myself to be skinny nor fat but this issue arose when I was doing stand up comedy. I had this idea for a wonderful joke about fat women, but when I thought about my audience, I would have gotten jumped on my way to the car if I told this joke. Now, I wouldn’t dare tell the joke to be mean or make a mockery of plus size women, but damn it, a good joke is a good joke! But we all know women of certain sizes cant make fun a plus size women(Maybe I should start back doing stand up and be the pioneer of skinny bitches taking their life back…nah! I’m not skinny and I would get my ass beat)! It’s all good though. IT’s a double standard….Life’s just not fair.
The first double standard is the one most of us learned when we were kids: Boys don’t hit girls. Now of course no one should be hitting anyone (whether it’s girl hits girl, boy hits boy or girl hits boy). Violence is not what’s hot in the streets. Yet, when a girl hits a boy she is told to stop. When a boy hits a girl, he is told to stop and that boys shouldn’t hit girls. It sucks, I know. This boy is now learning that if a girl hits him, he shouldn’t do anything. Now, I know some ladies will say, it doesn’t hurt men when you hit them. True, it may not hurt, but the shit gets old! For example, mothers. There is nothing physically painful about your child constantly yelling, “Mom! Mom! Mama! Mama! Mother! Mother!” But after a while you get annoyed and you probably yell at the kid to stop. I picture this being the same for a man that’s constantly getting slapped in the face. (and for the record, their face may start to sting) But what is a man to do? If you see a woman and a man arguing outside and the woman is constantly pushing him, verbally abusing him and slapping his chest, you’ll stare for a few seconds and think “Damn, she tearing his ass a new one” or “ Damn, that bitch is crazy” but either way all you do is watch. Let a man slightly push a woman and some other girl is calling the cops while that one guy runs over to say, “Say, dog! You can’t be hitting on no female”. Now this man is on his way to jail for something that “crazy bitch” may have provoked. I am not at all saying men should be allowed to hit women, but I think when it comes to violence, the consequences should be equal. But it’s not, because when talking about double standards, life's not fair.
This next double standard is something I’m very familiar with: racial jokes. I hate to say this and no I don’t think it’s right, but white people can not make fun of black people. I’m not sure why this double standard is, but I’m sure it has something to do with that whole slavery, racist civil rights thingy. If you’ve been to even one comedy show or seen one on tv with mostly black comedians and a black audience, for some reason there is always that one white couple who wants to sit up front. I don’t know why they do this, but they do. I think you already know where I’m going with this one. There is a 90% chance a black comedian will get on stage and use every stereotype they can find about this white couple. They will say the mans name is “Brad” and make fun of his dancing, speech, walk and sex life all in 2 mins. Then they will call out “Becky”, give her a valley girl accent and swear up and down that she wants a big black d…man in her life! All while this is going on the crowd his laughing to tears at these petty cheap jokes, while the couple just sits there red and uncomfortable. But lets flip it. Lets say a white man calls out a black couple. How they’re names must be Tyrone and LaNeisha, they love fried chicken and Tyrone pants wont stay up. While these statement could possibly be true, Al Sharpton and Ricky Smile are now leading a protest outside the comedy club and calling this man out on Fox 4 News. Now, it’s not impossible for whites to talk about blacks. IF you watch Family Guy, you know that they gets their two cents in. But it’s a “cult” rapport that has been built over time. If a white comedian has been accepted and embraced by the black community (and by embraced I mean, this white person has been declared “black” by another African American. Like what Bill Clinton was to blacks before Barack) he too can MAYBE get away with the racial comments. But overall, white people just shouldn’t do it. Especially in public. I know it sucks because black can and will say whatever they want. But whites must be careful of what you say if you want to keep Al Sharpton out of this. Life’s not fair, eh?
The last double standard is one that has personally been bothering me for a while: Fat Bitches. Now, already you’re thinking I’m being mean, but why? Over weight women are constantly calling women smaller than them, “skinny bitches”. It’s funny. It’s cute. We laugh. I get it! But why cant a thin woman make fat women jokes? Is it because since big women really do want to be thin, it’s ok because it’s more flattering than mean? Bull shit! So what some woman is thinner than you, that doesn’t mean she wants you calling her a a skinny bitch and cracking jokes. Now don't get me wrong, if a woman is over weight that means nothing! I have seen some gorgeous plus size women. I mean, if you're gonna be BIG, be beautiful. But honestly being big can no way possibly be what that is! There is nothing cute about being unhealthy and out of breath all the time! But regardless, we all know that women are EXTREMELY insecure. While you may see this woman as a “skinny bitch”, that bitch may feel uncomfortable because she was born with a flat chest. Now, to be honest I don’t consider myself to be skinny nor fat but this issue arose when I was doing stand up comedy. I had this idea for a wonderful joke about fat women, but when I thought about my audience, I would have gotten jumped on my way to the car if I told this joke. Now, I wouldn’t dare tell the joke to be mean or make a mockery of plus size women, but damn it, a good joke is a good joke! But we all know women of certain sizes cant make fun a plus size women(Maybe I should start back doing stand up and be the pioneer of skinny bitches taking their life back…nah! I’m not skinny and I would get my ass beat)! It’s all good though. IT’s a double standard….Life’s just not fair.
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