Wanted Wednesdays

So it's a Turkey day week and this is somewhat my funny Friday and Wanted Wednesday in lieu of what I would want tomorrow (Thanksgiving). I saw this on a website a friend sent to me and found it to be hilarious. I've made some changes of my own, but some are still the same. Feel free to read the original Top 10 Celebs Thanksgiving guest wish list.

**These guest (at least my own) are not listed in any particular order.

1.Kanye West – The weird and slightly crazy uncle
Although I absolutely adore Mr. West, if he were my relative I would be rather embarrassed of him. I can see it now: Everyone is going around saying what we're grateful for and he will be the one to remind us that "...after all the Indians did for the pilgrims, they still damn near killed off an entire race! And this is something we should celebrate? White people dont care about black people" Thanks for ruining Turkey day unlce 'Ye!

2.Oprah – The rich, sexually ambiguous aunt
Oprah is the aunt that we all have. Older, well-established, no kids, unmarried and perhaps quite the cougar. The one who would do anything for her nieces and nephews as long as they dont have to stay with her for more than a weekend.

3.Justin Timberlake – The sexy cousin
I dont have any cousins that I wish they were NOT my cousin, but I am aware that some are probably the ish in their respective circles. But if Justin was an adoptive cousin...well...man, I dont know! But regardless, I see him being goofy enough to chill with all the time.

4.Frankie – The “mom”
With Frankie as the matriarch of this family gathering, get ready for some D-R-A-M-A! Man-down! Side note: She is NOTHING, I mean NOTHING like my mom! But dangit, I would LOVE for her to say prayer over dinner!

5.Pops – Pops
Three words…bang, bang, bang! Watch out Frankie!

6. Plies – The bad nephew
Plies plays the role of the troubled nephew. Super smart and intelligent but he doesnt want his peers to know so he has tattoos, multiple baby mamas and trying his darnest to stay out of jail, go to church and get a job.

7.Lauren London – The fast niece
Lauren is your PYT niece, who is as fast as she is cute. You will definitely catch her texting her lil’ boyfriend under the table, trying to plan a way to sneak him in later when everyone’s sleeping. SMH!!

8.Estelle – The aunt who likes”the drank” a lil’ too much
Estelle is the token alcoholic in this gathering. Just keep her away from the rum.

9.Beyonce – The cuter, more successful sister
We can all sympathize with Solange for a moment, because at this dinner Bey is the sister that you know your mom always loved a little more. Make sure you spill some red wine on little-miss-perfect’s designer dress, then floss your $20 outfit for all its worth!

10. The Obamas – The more sophisticated rich cousins
The Obamas would definitely be your well-off family members who moved to Chicago and hardly associate with the rest of you, except for unavoidable occasions like the one at hand. While you bust down a turkey leg with your bare hands, Sasha and Malia look at you in disgust and floss their perfect etiquette.

20 Questions

OH snap! It's one of my favorite segments! I mean really people, this is HARD! Well, not really the questions part because I ask random questions everyday. But the hard part is remembering them or writing them down. I swear I miss an average of one good question a day since I dont write them all. But anywho, here you go:



1.Why do baseball players spit so much?



2. Will Lil Wayne ever drop the "Lil" from his name?



3. Is a Muthaf*cker the same as a M.I.L.F?



4. Why did they pair Zach Morris with the under cover lesbian?



5. And why didn't they continue his and Lisa's relationship?



6. Where in the HELL did Miles Austin come from?



7. Is it Christmas already?



8. Are you still hearing rumors about the Game being picked up on BET?



9. When will us black women just accept the fact it aint coming back?



10. Why are all the Banks kids on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air were biracial in real life?



11. Isn't it about time Diddy changed his name again? Puffy D. maybe?



12.Can white people say "afrodisiac" and not get looked at crazy?



13. Doesn't it hurt a little when you send someone a text and they reply: "who is this"?



14. Is it terrible to think: "Of all the Jacksons, why Michael"?



15. Can you believe Kanye still got album of the decade after all the crap he's done this year?



16. WTF Jermaine?!?


17. Did the Tigers Woods scandal really over shadow Michael Jacksons death?


18. Do people in El Paso (west Texas) call Dallas, East Texas?


19. Please forgive me, but does anyone REALLY care about Brittany Murpheys passing?

20. Who?

Funny Fridays

Usually for Funny Fridays I find a humorous clip of something from YouTube. But I had an incident that happened to me that I thought was rather funny at my own naive expense. Now, this is not "roll on floor laugh your ass off" kind of funny. You may chuckle or you may just simply think "wow". But regardless, I will share with you, MY funny Friday.

So for those of you who don’t know me personally, let me give you some insight about me first which may help you understand my confusion. I stand at a good 5'9 and some change. Almost 5'10 but not quite there. I'm somewhat slender, with a nice pair of hips to match. Ok? Got it? Good! Ok, whether male or female, gay or straight, 80% of conversation starters with me usually begin with how tall I am. The convo could be anything from "Dang! You tall" or " how tall are you?" or the infamous, "Do you play basketball?" Every blue moon I get "do you model", but basketball is apparently all I'm good for even though im not that great of an athlete. Usually I'm always confused by the basketball question. Like, do you mean do I play for a H.S team, a college team, WNBA or just for fun? Like seriously, why is that the first question out of most peoples mouths! I have other talents too! I would be rather handy at a Zoo cleaning Giraffes, but NOOOO! No one ever suggests that. Anywho, so with basketball being the question I get all the time, maybe you can understand where I'm coming from.

So, I'm at getting out the car on the parking lot of my grandmothers apartments when this man in an SUV pulls up.Now, while I'm not wearing a summer dress with heels on, I thought I looked nice. Casual, but still girly. You know, boots, jeans, nice shirt...etc. My hair was even down! But yet this man feels the need to ask "What team do you play for"? Now keep in mind, most men assume that I hoop anyways so of course my innocent mind thought he was talking about hooping. I replied " I don’t play for a team". He paused. "You don’t play for a team?" he asked. "No." I laughed. He then asks, "can I be on your team?". I laughed again and told him to take it easy and have a good one. I walked away.

So, most of you probably got what he was asking right away. I didn’t. But in my defense, that phrase is not common with me. You have NEVER heard me use that phrase to describe anyone. I'm not that politically correct! I'll straight up say he/she is gay, lesbian, carpet muncher, down low, fruity in the booty…whatever comes to mind. Yeah, i may be more wrong than pigs eating ham, but oh well. Plus, I don’t know how that phrase is properly used. For example, if I play for the other team (men) does that mean I LIKE men or does that mean I'm on the mens team and like Women? It's confusing to me.

So anywho, the bright light didn’t go off until later that evening when I was with my boyfriend. We were at dinner and what happened that evening crossed my mind. Just as I was about to tell him what happened, it clicked! "OH! Ok! THAT'S what he meant! Duh". I told my bf and he felt the same way. Like I should have known. But again, I don’t use that phrase a lot and of course with the term "team" being thrown in there, I thought he seriously meant basketball! Oh well! That was my funny moment! Don’t you dare judge me!

**P.S. I'm still not sure what team you would classify me with, but it's the team that likes men!

Throwback Thursday:Get By

"We commute to computers/Spirits stay mute while your egos spread rumors/We're survivalists, turned to consumers/Just to get by...just to get by"
This is the first song that I recognized by Kanye West that I fell in love with. He produced this track and i thought it (and the artist, Kweli) was dope. But I really didnt know much about either one. All i can remember thinking when i heard the song for the first time was how dope the beat was and wondering who produced it. So now when I hear this song, it reminds me of that old Savage Garden song with the lyrics along the lines of "I knew I loved you before I met you". Thats the way i obviously felt about Kanye.

Forever:Travis Barker remix

Why is this man still out! He should be put in jail for this! Watch what he does during Lil Waynes and Eminems verse! Dudes arms should have fallen off by now! This is super HOT!!!

I should have dropped out of college

Yeah, I said it and I meant it! I should have dropped out! Or I should have gone to another school, even if it meant transfering with 12 hours left to graduate. I say this because while I'm grateful to have a good, 401k, insurance paying, opportunity to grow job in these tough economic times, I would so much rather be doing something else with my life. BUT, I am a slave to a car! Yes, a car I bought is the ONLY reason why I continue to stay in this state of contentment. But that’s really not the point. So I'm watching this documentary with black folks and for the life of Michael Jackson, I cannot remember what that ish was about! My brain had just shut the fudge off after I heard Keenan Ivory Wayans say something along the lines of "I begged my father to let me drop out of college to pursue my film dreams. He kept telling me to finish so that I can have something to fall back on. But if I HAD something to fall back on, I wouldn’t have tried as hard". Damn it! That's me! That's freaking me! I have allowed this freaking degree to be a crutch! Not to toot my own horn, but I'm funny as hell (and that’s me being modest) and I should be trying my best to be doing stand up or improv or something to utilize my artistic genius! But I am not trying hard enough because I honestly feel I don’t have to. I have a degree to fall back on. So once I DO decide to try something, my attention span that is as big as an 8 year old at a candy store kicks in and I usually push it to the side. Now, to give myself some credit, I really didn't have any plans of working in the film industry until I was probably a junior/senior in college. By that time, I felt like I made it too far in my education to quit or transfer. I should have just bit the bullet and did it. Now, I do finance for the man! Finance?! I went my whole college life avoiding majors and minors to not take math classes and now i work in finance?! What the hell?! So now, I just have to consciously push myself and as much I prefer not working with others, I need to work with others to keep me focus. There's not too much I can do now about this damn degree. I have it. Great. Whoopty doo! But I hope when I have children, IF they show a real passion in something, I hope I can remember this blog and let them pursue whatever it is they feel. You know, lets say my child is like Pharrell Williams. Been in band since the 7th grade, produced beats all through high school and maybe sells a beat to the school rapper for 100 bucks, I'll cut him/her a deal: "Hey, if you wanna skip school for a while, fine. But you will work and if your business is not picking up within the next 4-6 years, then you go back to school". Because the truth is, you are NEVER too old to go back to school but you can be too old or have too many responsibilities to start your life over just to follow a dream. So what's the rush to get a degree in four years to only have a job (not career) that you are not really passionate about and that damn degree wasn’t even needed for that job?! Now, this is not to offend anyone in school or to knock anyone elses degree or lack thereof. This is just the way i feel about a degree pursued and not being used. Some of you may understand. Some of you have a degree in the arts and yet you have found yourself working in corporate America because the arts just dont pay the bills...at least not right out of school it doesn't. And for those of you of are living your dreams: I applaud you! I know that ish is not easy and your drive is highly admired by me. But I sooo get Kanye's College Drop out skits now!! LOL! This degree is merely a piece of paper that aint even paid for yet!! But this is not a sad story people. I have some things in the works right now and I am collaborating with others and hopefully having 3-5 people on my back to get something done will help me go ahead and get that ish done! Good night!

You can drink, smoke crack and not vote, but dont you dare judge me!

Makes me feel like a kid again

Shots like this are just absolutely amazing to me. I could just stare at something like this all day. Just an FYI for those of you who may not know, astronomy was my first real love for anything. My interest was sparked around the age of 9. I randomly learned a few things about a few planets and from there i was hooked. Please dont judge what i call beauty!